You posted this so you could congratulate yourself for saying “happy pride”

This week from Sam and Josiah

The Netflix show about Spotify is awful, but I love how they just fed this young Swedish model some carbs and Bic’d him to turn him into some kind of uncanny Daniel Ek babyman.

Happy Pride y’all! I still looked at my phone way too much while on vacation, but it was still less than usual, so I still feel like I’m playing a bit of catch-up with all of the horrors, both actual and metaphorical, that unfolded last week. Aside from the most prominent, ongoing despicable evil that unfolds in the world, the bald Spotify supervillain Daniel Ek also decided to say some rude shit about music again, declaring that the cost of making “content” is “close to zero,” which justifies Spotify’s low payouts to artists. And I’m too tired and jetlagged to come up with a clever thing to say about it, so I’m just going to say, I love his evil bald ass.

Here’s some stuff we’re listening to this week.

Gender Warfare “(I Am Not Your) Dude”

Sam: Happy Pride! This song is a few months old but it’s new to me as of this morning and as soon as they went into that whole Locust part at the end (spoiler alert) I knew it was going in (plus, I would get to say “happy pride” before Josiah and establish my ally bonafides [pronounced “bonna-feed-ays” here]). I do wish subgenre speedrun used more of the alternatives from that semi-viral image macro that included some stuff that was probably lightly racist (can’t find it via a few lazy searches but I feel like they were all “wassup unicorns” or “hey hey hey mexicans!”). That would have been funny. But here I am, another cisgender straight man policing queer expression. Wouldn’t be pride without me!

Jos: It’s awesome that you posted this so you could congratulate yourself for saying “happy pride” first, and then immediately asked me if I could write the intro. What if I had said it first? What if I go back now and add “happy pride” to the very start? Then what??? Also I love how posting Locust-esque low budget metal-adjacent stuff is just what you do every week now… whatever happened to harms, man?

One Step Closer “Blur My Memory”

Sam: I had every intention of listening to this with a big funny frown because Josiah put them in here a few months ago to dunk on but… they’re good now??? At least to me! I just checked and he actually wrote about them plus “Life’s Question” which is for sure the funnier band name, if only by a little. He said they sounded like “mid-period Comeback Kid without the post-Christian undertones” which is probably still accurate, they have just stayed close to my side of the street on this one. Maybe we (not me, to be clear) need to keep hardcore cooler, though? 

Jos: Well there’s the arm-in-arm harms! (Not really harms but I guess just melodies, is what I mean.) I think I would love this band if there was nothing vocally melodic about it. It has the fairly generic gym shorts hardcore songwriting, but the reason those melodic guitars worked so well was that the singer wasn’t singing. The balance is all thrown off… the music is singing and the guy is singing, so it just sounds like Rise Against. Meanwhile, you’ve got a guy with a perfect voice for this kind of music fronting Knocked Loose instead. You’ve all lost your way.

Wreckage “Can’t Let It Die”

Jos: See this is more what I’m talking about. Some crunchy guitars, some generic riffs, some squeaky clean production, mention of whether or not one should live with “regrets” in the lyrics. This sounds like some pacific northwest message board hardcore from 2001. Just as generic and fun as possible. And it seems like this band knows it, because the guitarist told No Echo (this according to Stereogum, I don’t read No Echo because I’m not 17), “The goal is, honestly, for people not to be able to describe us in any way besides being a hardcore band.” Make hardcore generic again. 

Sam: Damn yeah this is a hardcore band. Reminds me of this undergound band Knocked Loose that Josiah just mentioned, didn’t realize he knew them, too (maybe I told him about them?). It’s cool that they (Knocked Loose) have already had so much impact that you have new bands like this (Wreckage) carrying the torch and making the sound their own. 

Charli XCX “360” (remix ft. Yung Lean and Robyn)

Jos: Gonna be honest… I am very out of it right now. I’m extremely jetlagged, it’s somehow hotter in Montreal than it was on my beach vacation, I’m trying to catch up on work and I have to travel again in 2 days for a last minute family thing. So doing this newsletter is somehow even more punishing than it was to bank two of them before leaving. But I did see that Charli did this “360” remix and have been meaning to check it out. I know Sam will never get Yung Lean, just like I will never get the appeal of musical theatre or Fest or wet chicken. Also while we were driving around the west coast of Portugal, Sara was explaining to me that everyone is mad at Charli XCX for this song being pure Google sponcon, which is funny because no one was mad about sponcon songs in my day. Anyway this is a cute remix, I like how they’re trading the mic. I think Robyn just said “my lyrics are on your boobie.” No they’re not. I wonder if Daniel Ek fucks with Yung Lean.

Sam: Wow picturing my nice friends Josiah and Sara driving along a picturesque European coastline while this plays is a really warm visual, but I reread and it was just Sara explaining this to Josiah, which is nice but less of a cinematic image. Last time they were in Toronto they drove me from Medieval Times to Dundas Video and I don’t remember what we listened to, but it’s funny how outside of a cab or Uber situation being in the backseat of a car while someone drives makes you feel like a baby. This remix is good.

Tender Hell “Touch Type”

Jos: Okay to be honest I’ve just been working my way up to share the coveted Third Thing, which is the debut single from pod cover section heroine (and, since then, viral vinyls TikToker) Tender Hell. In addition to Tender Hell herself, this one features Sam and Nick from Split Hairs, as well as Ryan Greenlaw aka Dionaea Spouse, and it’s a lush-ass alt rock song that sounds heavy and organic and only a little bit internetty… just the right amount. I can’t wait to hear more new music from pod people. And I know there’s already more I need to check out. (And more I need to finish working on….)

Sam: Josiah and I actually heard this song a little while back and I said this about it at the time, which I think is very true and I’d just be paraphrasing anyway if I tried to write something fresh: “lightly utilizes the aesthetics of the internet as a signpost to listeners before a sick hook and massive guitar solo.” I agree! Tender Hell was always a cover section highlight but it’s so sick when you hear someone’s real EXPRESSION of SELF. I love this damn song!

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Our friend James Wilt just announced his third book! It’s about the Winnipeg police. Pre-order to find out whether or not he likes ‘em.

Sam: This is tonight! Josiah is also in Ontario and I have suggested he appear as a guest DJ, which he didn’t even entertain. Is he playing hard to get? Probably not BUT there is ONLY one way to find out!

Josiah: To be clear, I am in Kitchener-Waterloo for a funeral. But maybe I will drive the two hours to watch you play System of a Down to Ashley again.

Sam: The start of the month is big promo time for me these days - new This Exists is the first Thursday, so please enjoy half an hour of alternating charming and deranged dream interpretations from the bowels of Reddit. Josiah can’t actually watch it now since the link is still private as of this writing, so he’ll have to do it between sets at Dundas Video when he makes his special guest appearance. 

Josiah: Dundas Video is basically its own character in Sam’s life.