Stop doing so many ironic “blue lives matter” posts
After reading so many boilerplate desperation “love my show” articles about Slings and Arrows over the years, returning from a weekend in Stratford with my family (three plays in two days, not for the faint of heart which was apparently about half of us who will never ever return) I found myself finally drawn to this secret Canadian classic, set in a lightly fictionalized version of the long-running Shakespeare (and more!) festival. Being a Canadian show from the ‘90s (it’s probably the 2000s but all production looked like ‘90s dogshit here until about a year ago) it naturally features a winning guest turn from Don McKellar, a man whose work I cannot enjoy without hearing Josiah constantly saying his name in my mind. I kind of thought the Josiah voice in me was fading, but it’s screaming for me louder than ever, and I hope it is for you now, too. That’s the only reason I’m writing about it. Don McKellar.
Here’s some stuff we’re thinking about this week.
Crisis Sigal “Wet Dream”
Sam: I’ve been enjoying and writing about Ada Rook’s various musical outputs for a minute without always connecting the dots between them all, and honestly I feel like any more effort to piece it all together on my part would immediately turn me into a devout Fantano reply guy, or, at best, just make me feel even older than I already do. I do appreciate that a new generation seems to be influenced by the Locust’s adventurous approach to grind without also adopting their boring approach to being people. Love to experience what all the noisy, cummy music of our youth would be like if everyone admitted cum is hilarious!
Jos: Do you really think that the Locust didn’t find cum hilarious? Is that what you got from them? You missed that being completely bone-dry serious about everything while aesthetically praising the hilarity of cum is even more hilarious than saying “cum is hilarious” out loud? Sorry I think I’m just a little worked up because I thought it’d be too masturbatory (not hilarious) to write the intro this week and talk about my epic birthday weekend in upstate New York (surprise fireworks show, a guy complaining about too many “citiots” while working in a store that had $1,000 pants, I got a speeding ticket, we went to a town that has like 12 different themed minigolf courses), so I handed it to you and it’s about how you’ve been watching some kind of horrible Cancon period piece from, and I’m guessing based on the screenshot, 1997? There’s no way anyone’s read even this far into the newsletter. Listening now, the lil hip-hop intro sucks but then it’s an okay Locust impression. But then too much other stuff happens. Seems like the new internet bands are now doing with the Locust what they did with emo. Making it too calculated and swagless.
Middle Kids “Highlands”
Sam: Once more, I must admit that songs that sound exactly like this are probably my actual favourite songs. Everything else is window dressing I’ve learned from watching people I think are at least cool versions of myself, even if that only ended up with me hosting a blink-182 podcast for two decades. Ashley makes fun of me for playing so much of this kind of stuff in house so I overcorrect and then she says to stop playing Coalesce. I’m not sure what I can play that will make her think I’m cool. I’m going to do a lot of walking home at night listening to this and then smoking a bit of a joint and watching 20 minutes of Predator before falling asleep. Perfect night.
Jos: Maybe the thing we have in common is that we both have wives who are cooler and smarter than us, and it kind of informs everything we do. I was just fondly remembering how when I started my new job, Sara pulled me aside and said I had to stop doing so many ironic “blue lives matter” posts on Twitter. Because on my first day I had done an edit of the Jane Doe lady with a blue line through it. Anyway, I kinda begrudgingly like this song too because I’m old and whenever I’m in the lobby of a Marriott they’re playing a song I kinda like now. But it definitely sounds like the pre-sermon worship break, when everyone’s having fellowship. There’s some kind of indie pop babble voice that people do that is more subtle than singing in cursive. It’s like the syncopated evangelical soft singing grunt that people with Herschel backpacks sing like to show they’re shy. And I’m not sure if this band is actually Christian or not, but they’re definitely Christian. And so is Sam.
Hannah Diamond “Perfect Picture”
Jos: I think I’m definitely at the point where I’m just listening to music as like an old muscle memory, but whenever I try to check out new stuff I usually feel this incredible sense of despair. This is also true of movies and television, so the problem is probably me. Anyway, I gotta stick with old faithfuls like Hannah Diamond, who has a new album called Perfect Picture coming in October, and this is the title track. It really just sounds like a beautiful sad noughties pop song, building up like Usher’s “Climax” without ever getting too big or try-hard. I’ve been listening to it a lot, it’s so nice.
Sam: Since Josiah put “Affirmations” in the newsletter a few weeks ago I’ve had it on steady rotation, but this is maybe better? Sometimes when I’m jogging to “Affirmations” I feel like I’m being a little “extra.” Really I’m a decidedly midtempo man and this has the perfect balance restraint and HOOKS just begging to set free. This album is going to rock.
Earl Sweatshirt “Making the Band (Danity Kane)”
Jos: It’s so funny how disposable everything is, since this song coming out in June makes it seem like ancient history. I was listening to it the week it dropped (and then proceeded to follow some rap journalists so I could hear more cool music like it, and promptly unfollowed everyone involved within the week) but didn’t post it in here because I was probably posting a Hannah Diamond song or whatever else I post every week. Anyway, I can’t really deal with how cool this is. The music is so subtle, simply building to a chorus by having that synth lift the scale slightly, and Earl is just cooler than ever. It feels like an update on that wonderful era of cloud-rap (long before Mishka was in Zumiez, then Marshall’s or wherever it is now), complete with a low-effort, high-stakes music video that still includes magnificent light streaks that make it look like Chungking Express. More people need to reach for this vibe in their own little way.
Sam: Been experiencing about 24 hours of Odd Future nostalgia since that Danny Brown tweet but I haven’t really kept up with Earl since I Don’t Like Shit, which is objectively good but very boring to me personally. This is nice, though. The video is nice, too. Hmm I am bored again. I think the problem is me. I need someone screaming slurs at me to stay engaged.
The Killers “Your Side of Town”
Jos: Because publicists are leeches with no respect for the sanctity of human life, I still get like 2,000 emails a day to my personal inbox. They don’t really bother checking to see if I’m writing about anything for anyone, nor do I have the patience to go through all of them and click unsubscribe. So I’m still getting hounded about awful, awful music at all hours. But I was also informed there’s a new Killers song out today (Friday) but not given the link to hear it in time of writing the newsletter (Thursday) so I thought maybe we could wonder what it’s like? I haven’t listened to the Killers once since I saw them. Brandon Flowers said something about “acts of service,” quoting a bible verse and explaining that they were there to serve us. But it was a sold-out arena, and the tickets were like $100. That’s not servanthood, that’s just capitalist exchange! Also he looks insane now. But I still love his wacky Mormon band and I’d probably been hyperbolizing all over this crap if I’d gotten the link in time. Sam why don’t you imagine what the new Killers song might be like?
Sam: Okay I think they’re going to channel Goatee Springsteen, like Lucky Town-era, and the song will contain lots of descriptions of wide open American spaces lightly sprinkled with down-on-their luck loners and drifters. There will be piano, but just in the bridge. There will be one “hey!” and two “ohs.” Fade out at the end. I’ll think it’s kind of cool but then I’ll never think about it again.
Photo from beautiful (jk) Lake George, NY by Josiah.