To everyone waiting for the return of Blink-155, we have an important announcement: we are now selling dresses. At least, according to the ads that someone who hacked my account bought this week. “✨ Boho Chic Alert!” read one. “🌻 You're a wildflower, don't let your style slip away! ✨” read another, which is a sentiment I plan to take to heart. In total I appear to have lost $17 that Facebook is refusing to give back to me, so maybe we’ll have to start the pod again for real. Please buy our dresses.
Clever Hour “Burning Desire”
Sam: While I was initially a little bummed about the nu metal fake-out opener (it just sounds so much like Limp Bizkit’s best song, “Counterfeit”), I very quickly came to love that this basically sounds like if Quicksand was a Big Shiny Tunes band. This has “MAPL classification” written all over it, even though I just searched and this is apparently a band from a guy in “Superheaven” that is a true band I’ve heard of, but never heard. Get these guys on Edgefest 99!
Jos: Clever Hour… yep that’s what time it is… whenever I wake up? Or when I’m talking? Or it’s the name of the pod we have to start again so that Sam can pay for his Facebook mistakes? To be clear, Sam wrote the intro this week. I didn’t get hacked. But at the same time, I’m absolutely thrilled that some boho mommy dresses have taken over the pod account. My entire internet presence has been trending towards selling LuLaRoe. Man this really does sound like some nasty Cancon bullshit. You always think you’re immune to it and then they try to make something disgusting from your youth sound cool, and you have to be an angry oldhead. This sounds like an Enhanced CD in a cardboard slipcase that they’d give out at the PNE.
SPACED “Landslide”
Sam: I honestly only listened to this because of the wavy-ass album art, and I have very little insightful commentary to add now that I have enjoyed it beyond “the guitar thing before the breakdown is sick, what is that called?” Another one of my classic quick searches to ensure I’m not missing any truly crucial context has informed me that of our very few mutuals on Twitter is Warren Kinsella, which is concerning (for both of us). I am taking this opportunity to cut the cord and unfollow Warren, who I muted years ago anyway. I feel a little bad because I still have some rare vinyls that he lent me when I was writing Perfect Youth, but after years of politely disagreeing with him politically he’s now writing columns with headlines probably called something like “Arabs - Should We Simply Kick Them All Out of Canada? Yes!” (barely an exaggeration, but I’m not linking to the Toronto Sun). There’s an ongoing joke that isn’t a joke about everyone I know from my own punk-adjacent spaces slowly being revealed as a massive piece of shit - like the guy who runs the festival Junior Battles played in Hamburg just came out this week and said “if you support Palestine maybe this isn’t the fest for you” - but damn, it sucks and I don’t want to look inward to see what it says about me. I just checked and someone posted about SPACED saying “free Palestine” at a show in November. Also the bands we know have all dropped off the Zionist punk fest. SPACED I’m sorry Warren Kinsella follows you and I’m sorry I wrote so much about his band in a book with my name on it.
Jos: Sam who do you think is your worst Twitter mutual? I don’t really read other people’s posts anymore, mostly because the site keeps breaking. Instead I just pretend to be a child-hating adult fan of Bluey and let all the anger soak into me, like adrenochrome. I always thought it was so funny how it seemed like you were besties with Warren Kinsella for a sec. Probably best not to look into the other guys in your book. I know of this band because they’re from the new wave of Twitter account hardcore, but only now am I realizing that they might be named after that awful British sitcom? I wonder. Okay I’ve written enough that I can get away without listening to the song, so I don’t have to offend the mutuals I have with this band, a few of whom I really like.
Luxe “Dance Enchantress”
Jos: Kind of an outdated thing to complain about, and I’m sure I have before, but it really grind my gears when an account is called like, “Out of Context Shogun,” and then all they post is screenshots from Shogun that are only remotely interesting if you know the context of Shogun. Us true out-of-context heads listen to dance music without really knowing what genre it is, without ever going out past 11pm anymore, and with a deep disdain (or should I say “distain”) for the act of dancing. This split release between LUXE and Angel D’lite has two adorable airbrushed gummy bears cuddling up on the cover, and it sounds like the closing credits to a British sitcom that’s far superior to Spaced. Who cares if I don’t know what’s going on?
Sam: One of the best night outs I ever had in my life ended at some club in Montreal where the bespectacled DJ was in a crows nest-type lookout over the bar hanging half out and screaming “Surfin’ Bird” like an absolute maniac, like a man about to go on a Trashmen-inspired murder spree. This has zero “Surfin’ Bird” vibes, but the gummy buddies are cute I agree. Do people listen to this music at clubs or is it just for Josiahs to enjoy responsibly from their laptop while at work? Damn I’m grooving now.
Gesloten Cirkel “Balls”
Jos: Even though I didn’t get to record my last-ever podcast episode in a hot air balloon, thus leaving the possibility open that I’ll podcast again, my 2023 trip to Bloomington left a lasting impression on me. So much so that I was thrilled to see this mysterious Russian techno experimenter Gesloten Cirkel name his new EP I Live in the Midwest. What if he really does, and he was lining up at Hopscotch Coffee beside me on one of those fateful days? Anyway, this is really creepy and awesome blown-out dance music, and I like this song the best because it’s called “Balls.”
Sam: From the album art and opening tones, I thought Josiah was about to drop some stinky sludge into the newsletter. The name, too - this feels like something built to be called “dank.” A bit let down to not be banging my head while a weird guy intonates about the earth’s sacred seed, but I am still grooving.
Caldwell, Yung Pinch & Mod Sun “FLYIN’ PASS REMIX”
Jos: Call it laziness, call it lack of interest, call it pure strategy, but I’ve been neglecting to include the beloved “third Jos pick” for the last few months. Truthfully, there just hasn’t been anything worthy of inclusion. That changes this week with the “FLYIN’ PASS REMIX,” a song so bad and good at the same time that it just might take the 2024 Bonk! Bonk! Award for Excellence (something I just invented). From what I can tell, Caldwell is a country rapper who is so adorable and yet so punchable, bringing in the feeling of “cute aggression.” This is a Florida Georgia Line style country trap song about a girl who is attractive, I’m pretty sure, and this music video shot in a vibeless vacant lot sees Caldwell singing before the big guest, Mod Sun, starts dropping adlibs. Mod Sun didn’t marry Avril Lavigne, but no man has ever looked more divorced than he does here, looking like a wet Mickey Rourke who is trying to dress like Johnny Depp. And every time he sings he pushes it sooo hard. And then some other guy who I assume is Yung Pinch shows up. He kinda looks like Kurt Vile wandered onto the wrong set, but he brings a sort of accidental Bladee impression to the mic that really pushes it over the edge. This song feels like it’s about 12 minutes long. And the music video does this low frame rate edit sometimes that really makes it seem like your computer is crashing. I love every minute of it.
Sam: It’s great when someone hears something like Florida Georgia Line (sick) and thinks “this is easy.” Clearly, it’s not! I just want to listen to “Cruise (Remix)” now. You know what? I’m going to just do that. Wow, TEN YEARS AGO?? 154 million views seems low. Okay the original has 161 million so combined that’s a little better. The numbers are doing Nelly wrong, though. He brings a real vibrance to the song. He elevates. He seems like a cool guy. Not like Yung Punch or whatever. I didn’t even wait to see him show up. Welcome back to the third song, Josiah.
Please get Sam 5,000 views Sam is in a happy place now though bye guys